I recently received a call from one of the executives whom I coach. Let’s call him Rob. A difficult interaction with a client had shaken Rob and affected his ability to manage his team.

The client—let’s call him Andrei—had flipped out when a member of Rob’s team had sent an email with what appeared to be incorrect information. [1] Andrei lambasted Rob three times in emails written in ALL CAPS and later in a phone call that Andrei ended when he hung up abruptly.

People at Rob’s organization were already on edge because there had been one round of COVID-19 layoffs. Rob had jumped right to problem-solving because he didn’t want to give his organization a reason to look at him or his teammate as incompetent—therefore expendable.

“I feel worthless,” Rob said. “I was so dumb to let that person on my team send that email before I checked with Andrei. I failed to do the basic stuff.”

We talked briefly about how to redress the situation. Rob felt better about having an action plan. But then I asked, “Can we go a level deeper? You used some interesting phrases before. You said you ‘felt worthless’ and that you were ‘so dumb.’ Tell me more about how you reacted to what felt like a failure.”

Rob described previous experiences with failure: it was something to fear and avoid, not something to lean into.

Then Rob asked, “What would you have done if you were my client and I had failed like this?”

“In my book, mistakes are inevitable, so I want to work with people who are curious: Why did the mistake happen? What should we do next? How do we grow from this experience of failure?”

On the Zoom screen, I could see Rob smiling and nodding and taking notes. And at that moment, I realized that I was experiencing jinspiration:

Jinspiration [noun]: joy + inspiration; the feeling I get when someone is curious about mistakes and wants to learn.

As COVID-19 prompts large and small crises, it is more important than ever to for leaders to OBSERVE + ORIENT, starting with how they feel. Rob’s fear of failure had paralyzed him with fear. That was worth his observing before jumping to a decision. [2]

My feeling of jinspiration [3] was also worth observing, because it was a reminder of who I work best with, and where I should invest my time and efforts.

The “Great Reset” sparked by COVID-19 will continue to test all of us. As you navigate those deep waters, what are you observing in yourself and your team?

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[1] As it turns out, Andrei was incorrect—Rob and his team had sent the right information! Rob and I talked about worrying less whether a “failure” is objectively true and focusing instead on observing how we react when we feel we have failed.

[2] Later that day, I texted Rob: “How are you feeling now that some time has passed since we talked? Do you have more clarity or more questions?”

He replied, “I’m feeling calmer for sure. I think it’s important that I learn to take a beat before I get too worked up, and before I respond. It’s not that I lose my temper, but I think there are much more productive ways to use that upset energy.”

My feeling? Jinspiration.

[3] Jinspiration is obviously a made up word, but the fact that it blends two feelings is important. For a real eye-opener, check out The Feelings Wheel. Look in the center to identify the most recent strong feeling you have had. Then work your way out to the center. It will expand your vocabulary for what you observe in yourself. Credit to Deairra Hobson from Mount Vernon School for sharing this.

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